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Joke of the Day

"""I'm not sure I can do a Hadoken anymore,"" said Ryu. ""SUREYOUCAN!"" replied his master."

"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."

"Cat with 16 lives There was a cat with 16 lives. It was run over by a 4x4 and it died."

"When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself ""what would the hulk do?"" Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!"

"""Apparently I wasn't clear the first time that I want exactly two joules per second in my ass"" ""I said watt watt in the butt."""

"I am the King of the Universe and I have a son and he occasionally appears on grilled-cheese sandwiches. #yup"

"Which religion lets you eat as much pizza as you want without getting fat?"

"[job int] ""Under skills u put 'not being afraid of pigeons'."" [nervously shifts in chair] ""That's right. Why? Do any pigeons work here?"""

"If you try to fail and succeed which have you done?"

"I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write ""wash me"" on her face"