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Joke of the Day
"/r/Jokes won't get this an actual funny joke"
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"What was the former name of captain Hook? Captain Hand"
"How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick."
"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."
"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."
"My jokes are like space trash... They never land."
"I think I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children"
"My New Job I told my wife I had a new job in a bowling alley. She said 'Ten pin?' I said 'No, it's permanent'"
"Costco is a great place to go if you want to shop for 15 minutes and then stand in line and judge people for an hour."
"If the women with big boobs work at hooters... where do the women with only one leg work? Ihop."