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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college? About thirty thousand dollars a year."

"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"I know this may have been posted as it is fairly common, but here it is anyway: What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal? Claude"

"Good cop: frisks you Bad cop: takes his time"

"My Life Sucks... Because my wife doesn't."

"you think YOU'RE tired. I'm even MORE tired for the reasons I'm about to list. This is a competition for some reason."

"Donald trump was caught masturbating during a rally, He was blowing his own trumpet."

"Just back from that seafood disco. Pulled a mussel!"

"Either Chewbacca is in the next stall or someone needs to start adding green leafy vegetables to their diet."

"When you see someone driving with their shirt off it makes you feel so stupid for driving with your shirt on."