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Joke of the Day

"When you see someone driving with their shirt off it makes you feel so stupid for driving with your shirt on."

"Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here"

"What do you call a black guy surrounded by a bunch of white guys? The Allman Brothers."

"I was talking to my ex and she got the wrong end of the stick. The end that had been sharpened to a fine point."

"What kind of computer sings? A Dell."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, But you'll have to find a really big lightbulb to fit them in there."

"So what goes around comes around eh? Try saying that to my belt"

"It would be totally gay if Elon Musk opened a gas company in the future. Not because it will be out of trend but because it will be named GasX."

"Darth Vader, you are the father! --Star Wars cast on the set of Maury"

"Can someone help me find..... The guy on his cell phone laughing uncontrollably because someone rear ended a car full of nuns. I think he was leaving a message. Thanks in advance."