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Joke of the Day

"Good cop: frisks you Bad cop: takes his time"

"I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them."

"Why are there so many trees along the Champs-Elysees? Because ze Germans like to march in ze shade."

"Why did the gay man dress so well? He didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing"

"Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole :("

"You know why Miss Piggy can't count to 70? She gets to 69 and has a frog in her throat. Edit"

"So she texts: Do you want to see something exiting? Me: Yes, of course! Anddd she left the chat."

"What do people do for a party itinerary in the Jersey Shore? Gym.Tan.Laundry."

"You might be a redneck If you think ""Pearl Jam"" is an oriental sex act"

"[wedding] i wrote my own vows *removes paper* ""chickety china the chinese chicken"" whoops wrong one *2nd paper* ""if i had $1,000,000"""