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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people tell me I don't need alcohol to have fun. You don't need shoes to run, but it fucking helps."

"What was Hitlers favorite month? JEW LIE"

"What did the mama pig say when junior pig bought a basket of wormy apples? ""Don't tell the farmer. He might charge us extra."""

"What do you call drawings of dog poop that don't have outlines? Dog turds without borders"

"Are you dylsexic? Probably."

"What do you want on your tombstone? pepperoni and cheese...."

"Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch One found a bone"

"He told me I was the ""bee's knees"". I believe I merit being compared to something more like a lemur's femur. Who doesn't love Zoboomafoo?"

"So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her ""What width?"" She replied: ""with scissors of course."""

"What did Snow White say to Pinocchio after she sat on his face? ""Lie to me, bitch!"""