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Joke of the Day

"What did the mama pig say when junior pig bought a basket of wormy apples? ""Don't tell the farmer. He might charge us extra."""

"There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body and some people manage to get on every one."

"In Soviet Russia... ...bar raise you!"

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."

"What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only your skin. [Mark Twain]"

"David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter."

"Picking up McDonald's coffee now for tomorrow morning. Hopefully, it'll be cooled down by then."

"My boss said ""You're the worst fucking train driver ever,"" ""How many trains have you derailed to date?"" I replied ""It's hard to keep track."""

"Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."

"Instructions for falling down the stairs: Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12."