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Joke of the Day

"Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch One found a bone"

"How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant? When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked."

"When I woke up this morning, the garbage disposal was making a funny noise. Turns out he was just masturbating in the next room."

"I had to use my glasses when playing tennis. Because its a no contact sport."

"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"

"Your mother is so ugly, that if she were the only girl in Texas... ...the Lone Ranger would be lonely for a loooooooooooooooong time"

"Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes? Because he's extinct"

"My Australian friend hit a sheep in his car the other day... ...I told him it doesn't matter where it happens, domestic violence is not okay."

"1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have 'lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys."

"Diets are like ghosts. They might exist, but I wouldn't know."