136412

Joke of the Day

"So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her ""What width?"" She replied: ""with scissors of course."""

"Did you hear about the guy who had writers block? He stopped writing and it was"

"how did jerry heller order breakfast over eazy"

"I just called. To say. I texted you."

"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"

"A woman who's PMSing and a terrorist... What is the difference between a woman who is PMSing and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"I'll bet your parents hit the JERKpot!"

"Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word ""bae"" will be sterilized."

"Why do people make offensive jokes about inbreeding? It's retarded."

"Robin Williams has died Thank you for the laughter"