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Joke of the Day

"Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself."

"I've got a joke about odd numbers. It's not even funny."

"I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher."

"Food preferences area curious thing, I realized that I don't like chocolate anymore ... on the day when I noticed that I don't fit anymore into my old apartment."

"[interrogation] ""Where were u on the nite of the 5th?"" Stabbing a guy. ""Louder for the tape."" [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie."

"Due to the prostitute's arm injury, she can do no more than 5 handjobs a night. Damn handie-cap!"

"What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid."

"I grew up in Bolivia but I left because the currency is bullshit."

"Nice try, people that invite me to things that aren't in my house"

"Nan, what is death? Nan? NAN? .."