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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't Jews easily distracted? because they've been to concentration camp."

"Dates a zombie: so someone finally likes me for my brain."

"News, just in: Truck Stolen! A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals."

"I've always thought chicken breasts just come from female chickens, but it turns out they come from males as well. I suppose that means that I've literally eaten a ton of cock in my life."

"I should make a gym that only accepts fat people I would get tons of business, tons"

"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."

"Made my mom the most beautiful Mother's Day card out of my psychiatrist bills."

"5-year-old: What are Nazis? Me: Bad people who we killed a long, long time ago 5: Why were they bad? Me: They kept correcting our grammar"

"How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to put it in and one to complain that he never screws anything anymore."

"What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons? A Homerphobe! LOL! Just made that up!"