199083

Joke of the Day

"Do you know how to tell the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? They taste different."

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"Spell Xenophobia H-A-N-S-O-N"
"I wish my kid had a ""BAD MOTHERFUCKER"" tattoo so that when asked which one was mine I could say ""THE ONE THAT SAYS BAD MOTHERFUCKER ON IT!"""
"Boss:""I'll need those projections done Aesop!"" Me:""You mean ASAP?"" Boss:""No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."""
"What did Pitbull ask for Christmas? Dolly."
"What do you call a virgin redneck? An orphan"
"What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice? The Spanish Inquisition."
"At this point, websites with sudden talking ads have probably taken more years off my life than smoking ever could."
"[boxing match] Commentator: Silva is in the red shorts with green, white & yellow trim Me: the black guy. Just say Silva is the black guy"
"The difference between the middle finger and the fourth finger I use my middle finger to say fuck you to you.. My wife uses my fourth finger to say fuck you to me"
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