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Joke of the Day
"Spell Xenophobia H-A-N-S-O-N"
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"My finger just touched a public toilet seat. I don't want to be all dramatic about it so I'll just say goodbye forever."
"You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about."
"When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me."
"Motels 1 through 5 must've been real dumps."
"Dear Religion, Pics or it didn't happen. Love, Science"
"I Just Started My New Job Performing Circumcisions... The base pay sucks, but luckily I get lots of tips."
"If greens are the staples of a healthy diet... I'm gonna need some paperclips."
"2 Dragons walk into a bar.. 2 Dragons walk into a bar; ""its hot in here"" one of them says, the other says ""shut your mouth!""."
"I'm tired of people complaining about trumps policies... so I decided to detail them out here"