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Joke of the Day

"Boss:""I'll need those projections done Aesop!"" Me:""You mean ASAP?"" Boss:""No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."""

"What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes."

"I was going to tell a story about a Black Hole.... But it sucks."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"

"Pornstars would make pretty good lawyers... People wouldn't mind getting fucked by them!"

"im back with another knee slapper !! ""i leterally did nazi see that coming! - an frank funny joke am i righte ??"

"A death metal song about an Excel spreadsheet not doing what I want."

"My father found the cure for gonorrhea. It was under the TV guide where he left it."

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"HEAR YE, MORTALS. AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER. FUCKERY DOTH PLAGUE THE LAND. TIS MINE DUTY TO- *falls off barstool*"