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Joke of the Day

"The difference between the middle finger and the fourth finger I use my middle finger to say fuck you to you.. My wife uses my fourth finger to say fuck you to me"

"What do you call one chickpeas smashing another? Hummuscide... *italics* gentleman bows"

"Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces? Submarines."

"What's the difference between a cliche and a trope? BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY"

"*gets laser eye surgery* ""Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"" I told you, that's not what *i squint at him real hard but he's right*"

"For Sale... Parachute: $300. Slightly stained. Used once; never opened. No strings attached."

"I'd like to drown my sorrows. But I can't convince my wife to go swimming."

"When I die I want to invite my college group mates to my funeral and have them bury me So they can let me down one last time"

"I am really good at making jokes. Title."

"I masturbated so good last night, when I woke up, my dick was making breakfast."