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Joke of the Day

"At this point, websites with sudden talking ads have probably taken more years off my life than smoking ever could."

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"A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."
"my date canceled today, now when someone asks ""How was your date?"" I can say I was too *hand*some."
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"Show me a gay married couple And I'll show you a couple that hasn't been married 25 years."
"What do you call having sex in a canoe? Bud Light, because it's fucking close to water."
"Why should you never eat your girl out in the morning? Ever pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"
"A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday."
"curious new Snapchat filter shows exact date and time of your death but refuses to be sent. then you notice: the time says five minutes ago."
"I tried to be friends with my computer mouse But he's too cliquey."