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Joke of the Day

"Politicians are a lot like diapers... They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons. (Benjamin Franklin)"

"What did the communist say at the beginning of the race? ""On your Marx, get set, go!"""

"How do you know you're girlfriend is getting too fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes."

"What's the difference between a pedophile and a pro golfer? A pedophile always finishes in under 18 holes."

"What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow"

"So a guy goes to the doctor to get a physical and the doctor says, ""Holy shit you have five penises, how do your pants fit?"" The guy replies, ""Like a glove."""

"Sometimes my eye-rolls are the most exercise I get all day."

"From my Dad: I never did get around to paying for my exorcism So now I've been repossessed."

"'Your place or mine?' Is the sexiest response to the question: 'Where shall we bury the body?'"

"What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight? There ain't no rest for the wicked"