19761
Joke of the Day
"'Your place or mine?' Is the sexiest response to the question: 'Where shall we bury the body?'"
Next Joke
"*opens car door to drop kid off at school & sees kool aid instead* If you're here then.. [cut to kid bursting through a wall like 'oh yeah']"
"My girlfriend said, ""Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?"" I said, ""Yeah, definitely. Let's call your mum and tell her you've died."""
"What is an astronaut's favorite power tool? An orbital sander"
"TERRIBLE INVENTION PITCH: decaf Red Bull"
"What would you get if you crossed Bill Gates with Louis Leakey ... a philanthropologist."
"[meets a cute girl from Scotland] ""Ummm hi your people make fantastic tape"""
"A naked man covered head to toe in saran wrap goes to see a psychologist. He says, ""Doc, something's wrong. I think I'm going crazy!"" The psychologist replies, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts."""
"Me: There's a real fat one on the other team! Her: ""My son's not fat!"" How you know I was talking about him? ""Cuz he's the.."" Fat one? ""Ya."""
"Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication."