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Joke of the Day

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went OK."

"When I was a younger man girls used to ""check me out"". Now women just ""keep an eye on me"""

"[cow pushing 5 shopping carts out of store] Ugh, why do I keep shopping for groceries on 4 empty stomachs"

"This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that I took too many Vicodin."

"I've got some good news and some bad news... You've won a free trip to Cairo!"

"Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy."

"Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me. Next please!"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support quick or people are going to think we're nuts."

"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."