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Joke of the Day

"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."

"I remember 2016... Just like it was yesterday."

"What do you call a dad without jeans? A potato."

"I bet if a soccer announcer sees a monster, he probably yells: ""GHOOOOUL!"""

"Your Mama is so fat... that while on her period she sat in the nile and Pharaoh called her ""Moses!"""

"""Tell me where the money is or else I kill the girl"" -just to be clear, if I don't tell you she dies but I get to live right?"

"sexist joke Why is a woman like a condom? Because they both spend more time in your wallet then on your dick."

"Neutrinos ""Sorry we don't serve neutrinos,"" says the barman. A neutrino walks into a bar."

"My cat was looking for a place to sleep today, all she kneaded was my lap."