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Joke of the Day

"When I was a younger man girls used to ""check me out"". Now women just ""keep an eye on me"""

"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"

"Every time I think the younger generation is stupid, I remind myself that we took a long time to figure out that WWF was all fixed !!"

"[interview] ""what's you're biggest weakness?"" *whispers* ""sorry i couldn-"" I CANT CONTROL MY VOLUME"

"Are you a romantic man? Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap. So she can immediately start doing the dishes."

"The region of Qatar that hasn't been electrified yet is called acoustic Qatar."

"Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down."

"[at Eminem show] Cuz I am / whatever you say I am / [from crowd] ""Ur a pony! Ur a tablecloth!"" The shapeshifting continues for hours."

"Canadian castles... They really aren't my fort-eh."

"Dad told me this one tonight... Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo weighs a ton.. And a Zippo is a little lighter."