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Joke of the Day

"when you move to a new town everyone wants to date you because they don't know you're a piece of shit yet. i highly recommend it."

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"The orphan sat there, apparently. Get it? A-parently."

"What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? One's an overblown Nazi gasbag and the other's a dirigible."

"Eric Garner tried stand up comedy... But he choked on stage."

"I had a girl come over last night She was a shy little thing and offered her honor to me. Being a gentleman, I honored her offer. And all night, it was honor and offer, honor and offer."

"How do epileptics keep fit? With strobe lights."

"I'm an atheist but if lightning struck Trump during his victory speech I'd become a monk."

"50 Shades He slowly but firmly grabs my throat. I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...' - 50 Shades of Macy Gray."

"You know what they say about men who wear dress shoes... They have no soles."