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Joke of the Day

"I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?"

"What do you call pasta with alzheimers? forgetti"

"I just saw the most beautiful girl, but she was wearing those huge sunglasses so there is still a chance she's a 1200 pound rhinoceros."

"Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn't have enough legume."

"How does the sexiest man in the world tell a joke? Like this."

"Two atoms walk into a bar... One atom says to the other ""I think I lost an electron."" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" The other replies ""I'm positive."""

"What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night."

"My sex life lately has been like very fine jewelry 100% handmade"

"If someone acts shocked that you haven't read a certain book, the best response you can give them is, ""Yeah, I heard it sucks"""

"How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One"