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Joke of the Day

"Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months."

"Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate."

"A joke about babies and cocaine What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"

"I can't understand Undertale. It doesn't make sans."

"What do you call a man with no legs? You call him by his fucking name what's wrong with you"

"Homeless man: Change please Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous"

"Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator."

"What is a dog's favorite thing about living in a house? Roofs."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" ""Hearing aids."" ""WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?"" ""Hearing aids."""

"What do waiters want most after dinner? The tip!"