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Joke of the Day
"Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn't have enough legume."
Next Joke
"What do troll mathematicians like to solve? Parabolems?"
"The worst things in life are free, too."
"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"
"I was raised as an only child. Which really pissed my brothers off."
"At my funeral, feed me into a woodchipper and point it at the mourners"
"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"
"My wife always bitches about me not putting the toilet seat back down So now I just piss in the sink."
"Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast? Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
"Twitter's still doing that thing where I'm not funny."