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Joke of the Day

"""my dad works at Nintendo"" ""No he doesn't ur such a liar"" *Donkey Kong walks in & takes off his hat & coat* ""Hey sport, good day at school?"""

"Why does Fred Williard keep Kleenex in his pocket? They come in handy."

"I avoid being photographed at events held at my apartment complex. I don't need someone pointing to a picture and saying,""That's him."""

"Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell."

"They say the camera adds ten pounds. I knew this all camera diet was bad for me. They're just so delicious."

"I spent the last two years trying to find my ex girlfriend's killer. No one will do it."

"If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?"

"Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'("

"What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?"

"My boss kept saying he's dating himself. I told him he could do better."