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Joke of the Day

"They say the camera adds ten pounds. I knew this all camera diet was bad for me. They're just so delicious."

"Saw a guy on the side of the road with a ""will work for food"" sign. So I threw him a coconut."

"My favorite country star's good songs are about being bad and his bad songs are about being good I'll always love Jason Aladeen"

"Why can't dormant volcanoes erupt? They have eruptile dysfunction"

"Your Bio says you like music. That's amazing. Seems like everybody else around here hates music. Kindred spirits, you and I."

"I'm so patriotic; I piss red, white, and blue. My doctor told me it was pancreatic cancer. I told him to shut his commie mouth!"

"How do you hit 20 flies in one shot? Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan."

"DOCTOR: I think you have a curvature of the upper spine QUASIMODO: That a diagnosis? D: We need an X-ray to confirm. Right now it's a hunch"

"Your momma is so fat She uses ""panorama"" mode for her selfies."

"Introducing myself to new boyfriends parents: ""Hi, I usually don't make it this far."""