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Joke of the Day

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"Read more Accountant jokes"

"""Fluffy died today"" ""Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? ""He was a boa constrictor"" ""Well that made me feel better"""

"Why is Rose sad? Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7."

"I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her, and I'm now banned from the gym"

"Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas Because OCT 31 = DEC 25"

"A joke about Serenity [Spoilers] How do Reavers clean their spears? They put them through the Wash. Sorry."

"Bob unknowingly sat on a chainsaw. ;"

"How do Muslims like to make their pizzas spicy? They add halalapeno."

"I promised my wife I would not joke with her when she was PMSing. She has my word, period."