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Joke of the Day

"When I was about 14/15 I wanted to be a plumber, then I wanted to be a firefighter, then pizza delivery man,then I stopped watching porn."

"Making the Most of Life by Maxie Mumm"

"How do you blow square balloons? Blow square breaths."

"How do people get their drivers to murder someone? Mine sulks if I ask him to fetch groceries."

"I like my diamonds like I like my steak. Bloody"

"I got this joke about ocular herpes... But the girl who gave it to me didn't want me to tell anyone."

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""

"There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over."

"Did you hear about the guy in the park dressed up as a duck? He was arrested for selling quack"

"If there was a championship for the world's biggest loser, Hillary would take second place. Because she can't win anything."