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Joke of the Day

"""Fluffy died today"" ""Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? ""He was a boa constrictor"" ""Well that made me feel better"""

"Armageddon... ...tired of all these Rapture jokes."

"I lost all my fingers on one hand yesterday... ...but on the other hand, I'm okay."

"The horror of hearing the anesthesiologist say, ""YOLO,"" as he puts you under."

"So a girl asked me what my kinks were. Me: ""I'm into rape-play. Do you want to come over later?"" Her: ""No!"" Me: ""Great! See you at 7?"""

"Why can't American engineers design linear actuators? Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom."

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11 Because it has another 1"

"So now that corporations are people... McDonalds just became the first corporation diagnosed with a disease... Aspbergers"

"TEACHER: Jackie take 932 from 1439. What is the difference? Stella: That's what I say what's the difference`?"

"A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."