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Joke of the Day

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"The Friend zone. It's like being turned down for a job, then they call you a week later complaining about the person they hired."

"I got a call today from a distorted voice saying ""Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife"" Both options were tempting, but I decided to take the money."

"My buddy Bob got fired from McDonald's He just couldn't ketchup in the training."

"WIFE: Did you buy eggs? ME: Even better. I bought a goat. W: How is that better? M: *stares confusedly for a full minute* How is it not?"

"It's good times for German geologists As they have discovered a large deposit of gemulichkeit."

"My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French."

"the older i get, the more understandable britney's meltdown seems to me"

"Sucks how every girl I'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men."

"What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to? She draws a smack!"