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Joke of the Day

"Sucks how every girl I'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men."

"Obama: ""I have no more campaigns to run...because I won both of them"" Biden like 2 years later: LOL OH I GET IT. HES BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TW"

"I went to the doctor the other day.... ... and told him, ""Every time I look in the mirror, I get a stiffy."" He looked at me and said, ""That's because you look like a cunt!"""

"I wonder if Sherlock Holmes is good at his taxes... He's great at making deductions."

"I called the suffocation hotline yesterday... I was instructed to hold."

"Even maintaining a Sims character is too much pressure for me."

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a lobster with tits? One's a crusty bus station; the other is a busty crustacean."

"If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving."

"7 out of 3 people are bad at fractions."

"The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless... I was like, 0mg!"