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Joke of the Day

"""IT'S A BOY!"" I shouted. ""A BOY! I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!"" And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel..."

"A big thank you to all local DJs who play marijuana themed music at 4:20. You're doing god's work."

"do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?"

"I meant to type : You're dear to me. I actually typed : You're dead to me. Losing friends is easy."

"Polls show that 80% of black males enjoy sex in the shower The other 20% had not gone to prison yet"

"What's denser than a black hole? Your ex."

"Two balloons are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, ""hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"""

"I grew up to some pretty merciless parents... ""Daddy, daddy, I think I have constipation!"" ""Well, tough shit, son."""

"""Will I ever be able to race my horse again"" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied ""You certainly will and you'll probably beat her too!"""

"Why does the murder no longer use axe? Because he realized it can't wash away his sins"