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Joke of the Day
"I'm like a fireman, I turn the hoes on."
Next Joke
"[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me"
"What's trumps favorite movie? Wall-e"
"What makes light beer and having sex on a canoe essentially the same thing? They are both fucking close to water."
"My grandmother died a few weeks ago. We had her cremated. We think that's what killed her."
"This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days."
"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, ""omg you look like hell."""
"No, officer, I haven't been drinking; my toddler just needed to hand me everything from the back seat."
"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"
"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting"