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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, ""omg you look like hell."""

Next Joke
 
"Q: Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? A: Because umbrellas can't walk."
"A man sells his parachute... The man yells ""Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!"""
"Reporter: Sir, how do view lesbian Relationships.?.. Me: Full HD."
"I ordered a book on near death experiences. The anticipation almost killed me."
"What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again."
"What gun does Jesus hate the most? The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the /r/pka podcast"
"do they have the fourth of July in the UK? Of course it comes after the third and before the fifth of July"
"What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class? Pontius Pilates."
"What's white and can't climb trees? A Refrigerator"