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Joke of the Day

"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"

"If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice."

"The NFL sent a memo reminding players to treat women reporters with respect. Oh, and to try real hard not to rape anyone this season."

"What's the most popular board game in Canada Sorry."

"I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries. He was a real dough-nut."

"I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now."

"Weird Computer Error UK.eu has unexpectedly stopped working"

"I want to debate! Someone disagree with me! No."

"Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably"

"There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth? Two marks."