191140

Joke of the Day

"If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive."

"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback."

"When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers"

"A young nun is sewing a hole in a sock... ...when she pricks her finger with the needle. - Shit! - Crap, I said shit! - Damn, I said crap! - Aw, fuck it. I never wanted to become a nun, anyways."

"In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot."

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"I pledged to pick up 10 pieces of trash on Tuesday. So, I'm going to Walmart to see if anyone needs a ride. *adds humanitarian to resume"

"A guest checked in and informed us that his plane had a ton of delays throughout the day. I replied ""well, at least it didn't disappear, eh?"""

"IS YOUR WEDDING GOING TO BE OPEN CASKET?"

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off."