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Joke of the Day

"*admires David at the museum* I can't believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this"

"Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain? I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind."

"I met a girl who was into leather and bondage. She tied me up and stole my wallet."

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"Sir this bag is too heavy, you'll have to pay an extra $25 to check it. Sure thing *dumps 2500 pennies from bag onto counter*"

"Australians don't have sex... They mate"

"Pitbull is probably always the first person to hit ""Will Attend"" on a party evite."

"Am I a better husband or father? Well let's just say I never fantasize about being with other kids."

"Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work? He had to close a sail"

"What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback."