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Joke of the Day

"Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!"

"I used to be a cock sucker, then I took an arrow to knee."

"I ran into a man today who knew absolutely nothing about anatomy. I had to explain to him that there was a vas deferens between a testicle and penis. Edit: fixed ""there"""

"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"

"I smiled today. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow!"

"How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher? When the old one expects you to ""do your share"""

"Every time ""Cops"" comes on I'm like ""PLEASE don't show my episode."""

"Urine is the opposite of you're out."

"What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care."

"Two blondes are running for the highest office in the land Oh right, don't put the joke in the title. Sorry."