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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop."

"A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours."

"The Truth About Math Math Mat Ma M Me Met Meth So now we know why Math is so mind f*cking"

"I probably wouldn't know what to do with my hands if you were murdering me, but there's a strong possibility I would hug you really tight."

"I can't believe after all this shit they're still together! Our ass-cheeks really deserve some respect."

"I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing"

"My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes"

"With Facebook, you can stay in touch with people you would otherwise never talk to, but that's only one of the many awful things about it"

"What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint? I'm always taken for granite!"