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Joke of the Day

"My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes"

"Why are black people good at basketball? Because it's all about shooting and stealing."

"For lent, I'm going to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... so hard!"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi"

"Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because Bill threw a mattress at him."

"Every woman I've ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me... ...in their rearview mirror."

"Did you know? Statistically, six out of seven Dwarves aren't happy."

"What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it? We Can't Alope"

"Im wearing my grandfathers watch A german guy walks up to me and asks if I can tell him the time. I say ""nine""... he walks away complaining how rude american youth are."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because he heard the Ref was blowing fowls!"