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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe after all this shit they're still together! Our ass-cheeks really deserve some respect."

"What's it called when you're anxious enough to be a Helicopter Mom, but really, really lazy? A Blimp Mom? Yeah, I'm that."

"Did you hear about the gay Irish couple... ...names were Michael Fitzpatrick, and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"If you see me tied to a horse please know I don't own one so whoever robbed me has gone out of their way to make me look like a fool."

"What is the worst part of being both black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven. (these do not reflect my personal views)"

"Xbox One and PS4 Get into a car crash... And here comes the ambulance ""WIIUWIIUWIIUWIIUWIIU"""

"So I went to a production about puns today... ...it was basically just a play, on words."

"Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? Twitter only allows 160 characters"

"Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization."

"Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]"