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Joke of the Day

"Halitosis... is better than no breath."

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"Adderall is really dangerous I'm not sure exactly what happened: I took some, and then I must have blacked out or something... all I know is that I'm a grad student now"

"your mom is so fat that.. The whole U.S nation started this ""ur moms so fat"" joke exclusively because of her"

"Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes."

"I accidenty said Hi to a feminist the other day... My court case starts tomorrow"

"Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them."

"My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner I think I could really see myself doing that. \\_()_/ "

"To Do List: 1) You."

"Wanna hear a construction joke? Oh wait, I'm working on it"