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Joke of the Day

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."

"What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store."

"""I think i'm having a heart attack. Quick! Dad, call me a doctor..."" ""You're a Doctor."""

"I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex They know my name isnt Someone Help"

"What do you get when you cross a baggage handler with a sex offender? [The TSA!](http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2-l7xEQJqvdPPlN2qABza3Hpfin65EITfmXxRgqx4gj5ajg9mEdVJFhEsjg)"

"I asked a chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption ""it's cold"" could you tell me more about that"

"The greatest joke of all time... Android."

"Why isn't Hitler invited to any barbecues? Because he always burns the franks."