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Joke of the Day
"To Do List: 1) You."
Next Joke
"How do you make a hormone? Kick her between the legs"
"Capitalisation It is the difference between ""I helped my uncle Jack off a horse,"" and ""I helped my uncle jack off a horse."""
"People consider me as God Santa : People consider me as a ""GOD"". Banta : How do you know?? Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,""Oh GOD ! U have came again""."
"I like my women how I like my light bulbs... Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement."
"My son found a SEVEN leaf clover on the neighbor's back porch! I don't have the heart to tell him that it's really a marijuana leaf."
"This steak is so black. . . It stole my car"
"""Doctor, how bad is it?"" ""I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."""
"The first Matrix director coming out as a trans-woman felt bold, unexpected and original.... .... the second one? Ehh... not so much."
"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."