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Joke of the Day

"Adderall is really dangerous I'm not sure exactly what happened: I took some, and then I must have blacked out or something... all I know is that I'm a grad student now"

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"Microsoft tech support called me last night as a indian, I said ""Sorry your calling Indian Tech Support"""
"A skeleton walks into a bar... and asks for a beer and a mop."
"What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday? Friday by Rebecca Black"
"My sex life is like my baseball career I've never made it to second base"
"How is Donald Trump going to improve American produce? He is going to make American grapes again."
"my last girlfriend broke up wth me after she went through my phone and i refused to tell her why i searched for goth grandpas"
"How do you scare a man Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice"
"Are you guys all right? Or are you all left?"
"Did you guys hear about Freddie Mercury's bedroom furniture store? Nothing Really Mattress. They only sell queen size."