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Joke of the Day
"My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse *but I beat her to it*"
Next Joke
"Finally bought a puppy for the wife and I, but it turns out my wife's allergic to dogs, so we had to get rid of her. The dog and I live happily together now."
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"
"Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!"
"What's it called when Batman leaves the church early? Christian Bale"
"Rules Rule #1: There are no rules! Rule #2: Rule #1 is a lie! There are ALL THE RULES!"
"How do you want it die? Personally, i want to go out as my grandpa. Peacefully in his sleep. Unlike his passengers, screaming and crying."
"I could be way funnier with like, 143 characters to work with."
"In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says ""everyone be cool! Act normal!""nnnExpecting that Father of the Year award any day now"
"Roses are red grass is green open your legs and i'll give you some cream."