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Joke of the Day

"Finally bought a puppy for the wife and I, but it turns out my wife's allergic to dogs, so we had to get rid of her. The dog and I live happily together now."

"So an elephant and a naked man are talking, you know how that goes... and the elephant says to the naked man. ""Its cute but can you really breathe through it?"""

"How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I am on hold."

"A priest, a rabbi, a nun, a doctor, an engineer and a blond walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, what is this, some kind of a joke?"""

"3 mods walk into a bar. [removed]"

"Keep your friend's clothes in your enemy's toaster."

"While those 2 guys at the bar were just fantasizing about what they'd do with powerball winnings, I stole their ticket."

"What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?? ""Meowch!"""

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? I eat map. I eat map who? *My job here is done!*"

"barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question"