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Joke of the Day
"Damn girl, are you (Insert here)? Because (Insert here). Now upvote it you simple minded fucks."
Next Joke
"Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car."
"What do we want...? ""LOW FLYING AIRPLANES!"" When do we want it? ""NEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW"""
"TIL that FDR was the first sitting President to travel by airplane Maybe tomorrow I'll learn who the first standing President to travel by airplane was!"
"If electricity takes the path of least resistance... why doesn't lightning only strike the country of France?"
"Why did Adele cross the road? Because she wanted to"
"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race."
"With great power... ... comes a great electricity bill."
"What if texting broke for a month society would be like uhhhhhjjjjjjhhhhhhhhhhh ""hello may I please speak to so and so"" all nervous and shit"
"I have a particular set of skills, skills that allow me to open beer cans so no one in the house knows I'm drinking."