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Joke of the Day
"With great power... ... comes a great electricity bill."
Next Joke
"How do chocolate labs not die of themselves?"
"What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator? A caiman like a wrecking ball."
"Husband: ""I have good news and bad news"" Wife: ""Tell me the bad news first."" Husband: ""The washing machine broke."" Wife: ""And the good news?"" Husband: ""The dogs are clean."""
"Rihanna was going to tweet about the Ebola crisis. Unfortunately Chris Brown beat her. Edit: unnecessary words"
"My last relationship was so bad, it featured Pitbull."
"Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ..."
"Yes I am 45, male and love cats. Recently I posted a selfie. It could be worse though, right? Hello?"
"There's a great deal of tainted money in the world... It taint yours and it taint mine!"
"I'd sit on Ellen Pao's face... ... Just so I wouldn't have to look at it."